Only Love Remains

Hey! My name's Courtney. Sometimes Kertney. Not Kert. ;) Look around.
[My other blog - bealadydarling.tumblr.com.]

A Lesson In Eucharisto

Aside from Clark Pinnock’s books, I’ve been reading a lot of Ann Voskamp lately. How to be thankful in every circumstance.

I think that I have grown a lot since August. Granted, I shrank a good amount beforehand.

The night shift. Working holidays. Momma miscarriages that spark ugly memories. Joshua Harris men that actually aren’t at all. Parkinson’s patients insisting they are good for nothing as I use every ounce of muscle I can muster to lift them from bed. Telomeres shortening as life dwindles. Singing hymns with broken back boys to lessen tears that spring come morning light. Signing papers, revoking privileges to live with those I’ve come to love deeply. What is home, again? Walking miles through snow at 11pm and dragging feet for miles back through snow before morning comes, to read about how we should respond with thanksgiving.

I slept through Thanksgiving this year, quite literally and figuratively.

I had questions I wanted answered, because the God of comfort apparently didn’t know that peace had been absent for months - even years. And could he please have a little mercy on his people?

I lost answers to questions I shook my head at years before. Because if God loves me, then what’s going on?

Is he good?

That doesn’t matter; he’s still God of the universe. But can I trust him? Can I love him?

“If trust must be earned, hasn’t God unequivocally earned our trust with the bark on the raw wounds, the thorns pressed into the brow, your name on the cracked lips” (Voskamp)?

And furthermore… “Can God be counted on? Count blessings and find out how many of His bridges have already held” (Voskamp).

I had to make a character switch in the story my mind was coming up with; I am not, nor was I ever the main character in the bigger, ancient story. It was God who was good and perfect and it was him who gave me life; It was I that invented the means of brokenness and separation, and it was he that took the most of my burdens and placed them upon himself.

It is God that is working to put his children’s broken pieces back together, after they did him wrong.

It is God that still allows me to know the goodness of pomegranate gems and joy turned to laughter because it can’t be contained. It is God that lets us keep the gifts of newborn baby smell and sap in the trees.

Courtney, do you understand now that he both whispers and screams and demonstrates through working hands his love for you?

Do you understand, children, that agape is etched in the very cracks of the earth?

"I have learned to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing, or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty;

with plenty or little” (Phil. 4:11-12).

"And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ" (Eph. 5:20).

And that’s a bit of what I’ve been learning lately.

jpkitty:

In college, we don’t say “I love you”, we say “I have 5 essays, two finals, and 3 group projects due in the next 8 days” which translates to “I would like to be crushed by a train” and I think that’s pretty cool.

Baha my life at the moment. That’s what I get for going to a school that has four sessions… And summer classes.

For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves, but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again.
2 Corinthians 1:8-10

(Source: untilonlyloveremains)


So we learned a new thing, and we’re practically ready to join the circus :)

So we learned a new thing, and we’re practically ready to join the circus :)

(Source: untilonlyloveremains)

For he himself is our peace.

Ephesians 2:14.

Kiiiiinda my theme verse for this week.

(Source: untilonlyloveremains)


And here’s a taste of what happened last night. My friends are some classy folks ;)

Cheesecake and swing dancing? Yes please!

(Source: untilonlyloveremains)

Some converts to Christianity report that they were drawn to the Word of God by its blunt honesty. Though they were once encouraged by the world’s claims that they were fine and that secular man could make life on earth warmly hospitable, they now understood that things were woefully broken – indeed, that they themselves were in a terrible dilemma. They came to see that estrangement and disintegration rather than community and soundness marked their lives. And thus began their awakening on the road to spiritual health in Christ.
Biblemesh, The Biblical Story, Alienation from God

(Source: untilonlyloveremains)


Good ol’ Winona Lake.

Good ol’ Winona Lake.

You have made us for yourself, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.
Augustine 

(Source: untilonlyloveremains)


bealadydarling:

Sunset swimming with beautiful people.

Hey y’all look what I did last night yo.
(That’s called being redneck and ghetto at the same time.) ;)

bealadydarling:

Sunset swimming with beautiful people.

Hey y’all look what I did last night yo.

(That’s called being redneck and ghetto at the same time.) ;)

:]